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Neurobiology and Behavior Raising Capable Kids Self Care

How to transition from work to home

Life doesn’t stop just because you chose to pursue wellness. In fact, trying to maintain momentum during the busier times of life can often feel like the hardest part, right? Your wellness journey does not exist in a vacuum where you have ample energy, time, and resources to devote to your goal. Instead, you have to apply strategies to ensure that even on the longest days you aren’t defaulting back to where you began.

One such strategy is to focus your efforts on the places that will do the most work. You could heave a giant boulder by pushing on it with all your might or you could use a pole and apply leverage. Which would you rather do after a long day?

 

Are you tired of setting goals only to abandon them after a long day or a long week? It doesn't have to happen like that. Read on for strategies to help you transition from work to home PLUS a free guide containing 8 steps to RECLAIMING your evening after a long day. Read more: http://alisanelson.co

 

My guess is you’d prefer to use leverage. And today we’re going to talk about a huge way you can leverage your efforts for more effective action even in the midst of a full season. Because here’s the thing: If you wait until life “slows down” then you will likely never actually give your wellness the attention it needs…and you will end up on the burnout cycle over and over again.

Transitions provide space for escaping survival mode

As a mom I have learned the importance of transitions – of helping my kids move from good morning snuggles to breakfast to getting ready to leave the house, etc. When I apply my energy to helping them transition I am helping them move on to the next portion of our day with purpose rather than an aimless wandering.

I have to do the same for myself too. Without attention to the transition between putting the kids to bed and the rest of my evening, I end up scrolling on my phone instead of reading the book I was planning on.

Routine comes in handy during transitions.

As a routine becomes a habit it becomes automatic. My brain comes to expect it so I can skip over the “what should I do now?” and go right into my routine. All the actions that form my routine are grouped together – so instead of needing the willpower to do each individual thing, I complete a series of tasks.

For instance, a routine you might already have is to check social media when you wake up. You don’t have to tell yourself to go from Instagram to Facebook to Twitter to Email. You follow the steps automatically.

What if we used that to help you set a higher standard for your wellness on a day-to-day basis?

The evening transition from work to home is a very important transition. If you work all day it is likely the only time you have to do things outside of your job. But how often does a long day lead to eating whatever is easy in the fridge, skipping the workout you intended, and sitting on the couch the rest of the evening?

I know. Happens to me too.

In fact it’s one of the phrases I hear tossed around the most whether online or in person. It’s hard to do more than stare at the wall or binge watch Netflix.

Honestly? It’s so common we turn it into a verb and make jokes about it.

Heck, it’s so common Hulu uses it in its advertising! And we just smile + nod, “yes I do need Hulu Plus so I can binge watch tv instead of doing something valuable with my time.”

To be clear, “valuable” is not working overtime on your couch. I actually mean carving out real time to do the things you say you want to do – like learning a new song on the guitar or coloring in one of those books you bought 6 months ago or finally having that girls night. Those activities are highly valuable for rejuvenating your mind and spirit. They serve to help you become the person you wish you were.

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So how, then, do you transition from work to evening?

An effective transition routine is going to involve attention to three parts: your body, your mind, and your connections.

Let’s dig deeper:

How to help your body transition

Give your brain time to catch up – by zoning out.

All throughout the day you were taking in new information and your brain was trying to process it. This includes how events or people made you feel and your personal thoughts on a new project or team member. At the end of the work day, your brain needs to catch up. The tendency however, is to fill space with a screen of some kind. This ramps up the stimulation – overloading the brain. You need to stare out the window or walk in circles around your yard – just don’t try to direct your thoughts anywhere. No meditating or focus. Just let your mind go. (this takes practice).

Respond to physical needs: hydration, nutrient-dense foods, and restorative movement.

Drinking water and eating a good meal – whether it’s a snack right when you get home or if you go right into dinner preparations – will revive your body. The lull you feel after work might seem like it requires a boost of caffeine or sugar but between letting your brain catch up and nourishing your body, you will experience a revival. Note: if you don’t, you actually might need a power nap.

Restorative movement includes things like yoga, stretching, or a walk around the neighborhood. After a day of sitting it’s important to bring alignment back to your body and increase blood flow.

Finally, you might opt for a harder form of exercise

Rigorous movement can serve an important purpose in expelling pent up emotion and stress. Rather than wasting energy mulling over workplace drama or social media posts do some sprints, a quick kettlebell routine, or hit a punching bag. Trust my experience – it feels amazing. And you’ll walk into your evening feelings more powerful and alert.

How to help your mind transition

A mental download can help you clear the slate from the day’s problems or worries.

Perhaps after zoning out you realize you have a conflict you need to think through, verbal or written processing can help you determine a course of action and move on.

Schedule (or eliminate) tasks that didn’t get accomplished today.

Don’t let unfinished work hang over your head. It can lead to numbing behaviors or agitation toward others if it is allowed to go unchecked. Let this time also serve to redirect your focus. Is the task relevant to your priorities? Can it be saved for later? Can it be passed off? Why do you keep avoiding it? Can it be broken down into more actionable steps? Sorting through your list can save you time and energy later.

Finally, write down your plan for tomorrow

Include any preset appointments, the big tasks you need to get done, and any self-care you plan to do (exercise, time with friends, etc). This is a must-do item. Having a plan for tomorrow is a major way you can keep the stress of today from carrying over into the morning.

How to build connections

Re-establishing a connection with your own purpose and your important relationships is essential to recovering from stress. You are free to make decisions and spend your time in a way that aligns with who you really are and who you want to be when you are connected.

  1. Do a short check-in with yourself
  2. Celebrate the ways you stayed on track or moved forward in your goals
  3. Spend time doing creative expression – color, cook, read a favorite book, write for fun
  4. Remind yourself that you aren’t alone by reaching out to a friend.This is more than fishing for encouraging words or compliments, it’s an opportunity to get a new perspective. It’s valuable to pick your head up and see what’s going on outside of your own life – beyond what someone chose to publish on Facebook for the day.
  5. Encourage someone else.Whether you write a note, send a text, or make a phone call, choose to be what you want others to be for you. Refuse to isolate yourself from the burdens of others and instead remind them that YOU are there for THEM. Because we’re all in this together.

Making this YOURS involves experimentation.

No need to try to do everything at once (or ever), as you get to know your own needs you will start to see what is most valuable in helping you transition from a long day at work to an intentional evening. The most important piece is that you refuse to accept a dud evening as normal. Might still happen occasionally (I recommend going to bed early then) but you can still raise your baseline. This isn’t a step away from grace for yourself after a long day, it actually shows greater self-love when you refuse to let the stress of today carry over into tomorrow.

What to do next:

Click the image below to get this blog post in step-by-step format. You’ll also be signed up for the Lab Notes Community where we do things a little differently. I’m not going to fill your inbox with fluff – we’re going to work together to move you toward your goals and shift you into action. Click below and get your first taste of survival mode freedom.

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Categories
movement Nutrition and Meal Prep Self Care

How to get started on your own wellness journey

How do you become the person you want to be? How do you take that image of your life that’s buried deep in your mind – possibly feeling like a long lost dream – and start to bring it into reality? A key ingredient to any “transformation” story involves a moment when the person first began to believe they could become the person they wanted to be. Perhaps it was through a health scare, a personal intervention, or the encouragement of trusted voices – each story is unique but contains this turning point where the status quo becomes unacceptable. You love your work. But it’s burning you out. It’s time to find balance + connection to yourself and your mission on your very own wellness journey.

We all love transformation stories. But how do you inspire your own life change? Learn the first step to starting your own wellness journey. Growth happens when we learn to give our own bodies, hearts, and minds what they need. Read more at alisanelson.co

 

How can you encounter that moment for yourself?

Redefine “normal”

I want to tell you something: It starts with you. You looking at you. Your needs, desires, and where you are at in both right this minute. It’s tempting to look somewhere else – at your job, your kids, your relationships, your community – and try to arrange them *just so*. It’s harder to assess our own selves. Our behaviors, how we spend our time, the beliefs we hold that keep us from doing for ourselves what we really need to thrive and be truly effective in our work.

 

But I also see you setting too-low of expectations for yourself. Namely, for your level of well-being.

 

Sure, we joke about it all the time in our various spheres — that spread-too-thin feeling that comes just a little bit before the kids are in bed, or in the final weeks before Christmas break. I’ve come across plenty of memes and hilarious tweets giving accurate description to how our energy and passion ebbs and flows throughout the year. With the sad reality being a multitude of people living below their potential while they numb out on social media or Netflix because they can’t figure out how to nudge their lives into a sustainable rhythm of pouring out, taking in, and growth.

 

Don’t let these trends tell you what is normal.

 

Only having enough energy to make it to the closing bell or to the kids’ bedtime is surviving. We want more for ourselves.

 

Build a picture of where you are right now.

It’s difficult to go on a journey without a map. And maps require a starting point.

In our context we’re talking about a journey to better balance + connection in your life. We want to move beyond burn out into the habits and skills that allow you to continually expand your capacity for pouring out by paying special attention to replenishing your stores.

We often hear the word “self-care” thrown out around this time. I should know, I use it myself. But I tend to expand the word beyond taking physical care of your body. A massage or nightly face-mask sounds great but let’s dig deeper. Self-care is anything + everything you need to do to help yourself keep going on your mission. Maybe you can’t rattle off your very own mission statement but we’re talking about that thing you are investing yourself in. Might be your work, might be your kids — whatever it is, seeing your dream come to fruition requires a level of performance you won’t find by accident.

 

Self-care might look like:

  • The number of hours you sleep in any 24-hour period
  • The amount + style of physical movement you do each day
  • Calming techniques throughout the day that help you release anxiety + refocus your energy
  • The steps you take to keep yourself from getting distracted during the work day
  • The frequency + the way you spend time with loved ones
  • Your personal strategies for coping with disappointment, rejection, or unforeseen obstacles
  • How you prepare for the week / month / year ahead
  • What projects / roles you say yes to
  • The foods you eat throughout the day
  • Your morning + evening routines
  • The way you go about solving problems that pop up day-by-day
  • And more

 

In each area of your life you are taking stock of what will move you forward – increasing your own fulfillment as well as you efficacy. This information will help you start to see where your current journey is taking you. That clearer picture is what we need in order to draw a map from now —-> where you want to be. That is how you bring life to your wellness journey.

 

So, what’s the first step to starting a personal wellness journey?

We certainly can’t start to tackle every area of your life at once! You may have even tried that already. Research indicates that the best place to start when looking for change is to assess your starting point. Where are you now – what situations currently lead to a sense of fulfillment and what circumstances tend to leave you feeling lost, stuck, or confused? Then, you can start to zero in on these various circumstances and build the understanding + skills necessary to bring about the desired outcome.

Remember: We call this a journey because it takes a gradual one-step-in-front-of-the-other approach. The learning of new skills that develop into habits is its own beautiful science because it’s not a one-and-done kind of thing.

 

Your homework:

I’ll close our time together today with questions to get you started building your own self-awareness. The important thing is that you start to get curious about your current self – and that you be honest. You cannot grow if you aren’t willing to take a close look at the input / output of your life.

 

  1. What events or habits (that you currently have) leave you feeling refreshed + ready for action?
  2. What events or habits leave you feeling calm or content? What does the transition look like between these actions → getting back to work?
  3. What activities have you seen yourself grow in throughout the past few months? Where have you intended to grow but haven’t seen much progress?
  4. What behaviors do you tend to fall back on when you feel stressed? Sleeping more? Netflix? Eating out? Spending more time alone? Easily irritated?
  5. When you simulate the above behaviors and trace them backwards, what kinds of things tend to trigger them? Asking yourself what’s for dinner? Hearing your kids fight? Looking through Instagram? A difficult day at work?
  6. Write down a typical day in your life. You could even do this as the day progresses. How many times do you hit snooze, how often are you picking up your phone to check email/social media, how often are you experiencing those moments of awe + wonder that make our efforts feel worth it (and what situations does it tend to happen in), how do you feel prior to lunch / dinner, what’s your pre-bed routine, etc.
  7. What do you think about right before you fall asleep? What are your thoughts as you first wake up? What about at the end of the work day?