Category: Self Care

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Mindfulness and Cognitive Science Neurobiology and Behavior Self Care

Surviving as an introvert: 4 strategies to keep you connected

When you work in a people-focused environment it becomes essential to know where you land on the introvert-extrovert scale. Not because one is better than the other but because the underlying physiology associated with these traits can help you both understand your behavior + take effective action.

 

Spending a lot of time in large groups of people is going to look and feel different depending on where you are on the I/E scale. This is so much more than a label. This is your brain chemistry manifesting in your behavior. Each have their strengths. What’s more important is that you use who you are to your advantage.

 

As a mom, coming to a new level of understanding about how my brain works has been fundamental in helping me overcome anger issues + apathy toward problems that arise. It has helped me get in rhythm with my body so that I can effectively take action and recharge. It has also made it a lot easier to break up with some numbing tactics because I know what will actually help me recover.

 

Remember when I talked about self-care being whatever you have to do in order to keep going? This is one of those things.

 

Are you an introvert that is constantly around people? Do you feel like all you can do at the end of a long week is stare at a wall? Staying connected is essential to serving people well - not to mention your own wellbeing. Read this post for 4 strategies to staying connected without frying your circuits week after week. More at http://alisanelson.co

 

If you’re not convinced yet that this is something you need to know about yourself, then ask yourself if you wish you were happier, more consistent, or had more willpower. What I’m about to talk about will get you on that path too.

(If you’re short on time, scroll to the bottom for the summary)

This week we’re hitting on how to help introverts stay engaged + connected in a people-filled environment. In a few weeks we will circle back and talk about the extrovert side of the spectrum because everyone has obstacles to staying engaged and understanding the brain’s role can help us take effective action. If you’re more extroverted, send this to all your introverted friends and stick around because we’ll get to you. I promise.

 

Ok, I have A LOT to talk about today. So enough intro – let’s dive in.

What it means to be an introvert

I’ve taken a myers-briggs test probably at least half a dozen times. And every time I come out being called an extrovert. And it’s just not true ya’ll. Perhaps you’ve heard of the word “ambivert” where you’re a nice little half-blood but let’s get more descriptive than that. If you find yourself easily fatigued by large crowds or needy children but you also would occasionally choose to meet a close group of friends at a loud restaurant without a second thought than you are probably an extroverted introvert. Meaning you are on the introvert side of the spectrum but can also a bit extroverted in limited capacities.

 

If you’ve regularly felt in-conflict with what these tests tell you about yourself here’s a little disclaimer: you probably are answering based on who you think you should be. Often it is so ingrained that our automatic response can even be misaligned with our actual physiology. And with that beautiful word, let’s start talking about the major chemical difference between an introvert and an extrovert.

 

The biggest difference is a pretty simple one, really. An introvert has a greater sensitivity to dopamine.

 

Dopamine is released in the brain under a variety of circumstances, one of them being new environments. It plays a role in learning + memory. Therefore when you encounter new stimuli to be sorted and interpreted, dopamine floods the brain. Introverts require very little stimulation for dopamine to be released and to reach saturation. In contrast, extroverts require greater stimulation for dopamine to reach saturation.

 

In other words: an introvert requires less input to reach the desired happy, creative, and thoughtful state.

 

Knowing this we can identify the real reason introverts struggle to engage in a large crowd. Shyness is not the answer – overstimulation is. From a quiet corner a person can help their brain sort through the new information a little bit at a time and determine the best mode of entry into the fray. A new place with new faces, smells, sounds, etc. is often too much for an introvert to sort through on the spot – especially since that environment is also going to bring on a slew of internal reactions like self-talk, anxiety, increased heart rate, etc.

 

We use these internal processes – like releasing dopamine in a new environment – to get a lay of the land mentally. We modify our mental models, identify key players in the room, strategize our approach, integrate and transfer ideas, and develop appropriate responses as we integrate our feelings with all the other information.

 

However, all of the input make it difficult for an introvert to truly listen and thoughtfully respond to the people. Instead they will depend upon previously established mental models for interpreting what’s happening – requiring them to stick to preconceived scripts and ideas.

 

Overstimulation: an obstacle to high performance

Maybe you can cope well enough in a social environment. Keeping conversation light + playful can be nice. But when it comes to a work environment, you need to be able to function at a higher level, right? Not just to meet expectations but for your personal satisfaction!

 

Overstimulation impedes a person’s abilities to regulate their behavior (getting out of reaction mode), make decisions, focus on the task at hand, determine prioritization, communicate effectively, find + implement creative solutions, etc. Basically, anything that requires you to take in the immediate environment and rapidly turn out an effective response.

 

When I was a new mom I heard all the time how important it was to have a routine for the child’s sake. I love child development and they are right on – for kids, everything is new. And that means they are prone to overstimulation. Just like me. Their capacities are lower than an introverted adult – I can eat a cookie before bed and not go berserk – but they need an environment that takes their developing brains into consideration.

 

Similarly you need to set yourself up for success, taking YOUR brain into consideration. On any given day there is so much that is outside of our control, but this? This is on you. We have a phrase in our house, “make it easy.” And that’s what you have to do here. Easy doesn’t mean it’ll come naturally or feel effortless. It means that you will apply force in the necessary areas to see productive results.

 

So shall we dive in to where you should apply that force? YAY!

 

BUT FIRST: we’re already at 1000 words here so if you need to take a break and digest how this new information on introversion affects your life, please do it now. Bookmark or pin this post and come back when you’re ready to implement. Let this be your first action step → don’t force yourself to take in more than your brain can handle. We don’t want this to be yet another thing that just sits in your brain because it was too much too fast.

 

Ok, here’s how you can start to take back control:

 

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Strategy #1: Get yourself some self-awareness

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If I sound like a broken record I promise it’s not just because I’m merely fixated on self-awareness. It really is the first step to changing any behavior.

 

Self-awareness involves two areas: Where you are and where you want to go. You don’t know if you have enough gas in your car until you check. And you don’t know if it’s enough unless you know how far you need to go. Ya with me?

 

Some prompts to journal through:

  • What does it look like for you to be overwhelmed / overstimulated? Do you get snippy? Anxious? Start puttering around without getting anything done? Go into autopilot? Feel like you need to crawl out of your skin? Just me?
  • What kinds of situations push you over the edge? Is it correlated to a time of day?
  • What, if any, actions seem to help you stay below that threshold?
  • How do you typically respond to overstimulation? Are you reaching for your phone more? Thinking about what you’ll watch on Netflix tonight? Daydreaming?
  • What signs seem to act as a warning bell that the threshold is approaching? Is it inappropriate to lock my kids outside and start making dinner at 3pm?

 

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Strategy #2: Be selective about your spontaneity

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Sounds super cool, right?

 

I used to tell myself that I couldn’t be a planner. As soon as I would set a schedule or routine for myself or for my kids, I would feel stifled and never do it. You know what came with that? No energy to talk to my husband. And very few “fun-mom” moments. This isn’t a judgment on me – or anyone else, obviously we don’t judge here – but aligning with my strengths requires that I limit the space left for spontaneity. Like if I’m “spontaneously” deciding on what we’re doing for the day as it unfolds, I’m instantly decreasing my ability to roll with whatever antics my kids think up. My physiology struggles to have both.

 

Nothing stifles fun mom faster than realizing I don’t know what’s for dinner at 5pm.

 

BUT you know what I can do? I can take 5-10 minutes the night before (and a little longer on Sunday) to map out our day.

 

It is pretty literally the worst to get to dinner time and have no energy to do anything but throw children in bed and zone out on the computer. In days gone by I would very passive aggressively make it obvious to my husband that I was not interested in talking to him and heaven forbid he attempt any physical contact. My fried brain was is fight mode and it wasn’t going anywhere.

 

If you want to be able to stay engaged throughout your work + have energy leftover to really connect with the important people in your life, you have to be more selective in your spontaneity. Own that brain chemistry, girl. 

Here’s where your mental image for who you want to be comes into play: do you want to be a person who has to zone out every night? Or do you want to be able to meet friends for a drink or take your kids on a spontaneous picnic? If it’s the latter, than you need to put in the effort to streamline your daily decisions.

 

ACTION STEP:

  • Consider what you wish you had more energy for – Playing with your kids? Weekly dinner with friends? Space to devote to a hobby you’ve let fall aside? Time with your husband that is beyond netflix + ice cream?
  • Now think about your day – where does it feel like you’re expending more energy than should be necessary? What feels especially draining?
  • What could you do to make that area / event more predictable?

 

Here’s another good place to stop. Take action on these first two steps before adding more to your plate, k? We’ll wait.

 

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Strategy #3: Honor your body’s rhythms + take a time out

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There is SO MUCH MORE science to tell you about, guys. But I’ll refrain and save it for another post.

 

The big idea here is that you are an organism. Not a machine. Your body functions in a rhythm, requiring input + output for a wholehearted life. You, my dear friend, are one of those amazing people who literally can’t help helping. It’s just a part of your life. It makes you who you are. But that does not mean you are an exception to the rule: your body, mind, and spirit need nourishment if you want to keep on doing this thing called life.

 

Sleep is one way our bodies take a time out to refresh. Your brain and the rest of your tissues are working all through the night to repair cells, get rid of toxins, refresh its stores, etc. So sleep is hugely important. And more than that – our brains need a chill-out time throughout the day too. Ok maybe I told you a little more science.

 

As introverted folk, we need to honor that during-the-day rhythm. Remember up above when I asked you some questions to build your self-awareness? Well, here’s where that info is useful! There are going to be times during the day when we feel a lull happening. The lull is your brain saying, “Cool it! Let me catch up, por favor!” We’re taking in information all the time and giving your brain a few minutes (with 15-20 being optimal) to play catch up, you will be able to better maintain energy levels throughout the day. Which mean you’ll be better able to stay engaged with the people around you instead of just wishing everyone would shut up.

 

<mini-rant>

Social media scrolling is NOT allowed during these mental breaks. I was gonna be all “not the best choice” but this is too true and too important to play PC.

 

Social media:

  • shortens your attention span,
  • triggers dopamine surges that are more like a sugar rush, desensitizing you to real connection + real information
  • makes you think you’ve connected with people when you haven’t
  • is MORE stimulation for your brain to sort through
  • introduces common triggers to stress / anxiety / comparison / etc
  • is full of people telling you who you should be / what you should be doing

 

Don’t do that to yourself. It’s fun, obviously. But pick a time during the day when you are going to intentionally engage in that and don’t let it be your “I’m tired so let me just scroll” as if that’s productive or helping you unwind. Trust me, it’s not.

</rant>

 

ACTION STEP:

  • Think about your usual day, find a moment around midmorning and midafternoon where you can take a 10-20 minute breather. Even if you can only start with 3 minutes, do it.
  • Set your phone alarm to remind you.
  • Follow through and take a few minutes to let your mind release. Take some deep breaths but don’t try to focus on anything (or nothing). No effort here.
  • Do this for a week – make notes about any differences you experience.

 

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Strategy #4: Establish personal rituals

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Your brain wants to run on habits. It is more energy efficient. Daily rituals allow your brain to chunk certain activities and tie them to cues + rewards – making it easier to build the habit AND incorporating natural motivation because rewards involve happy chemical release (which your brain like really, really loves).

 

Again, this section can (and probably will) be its own separate post and as we near the 3,000 word mark let’s keep the action here simple + tied in to the above action steps. You need a nightly routine for mapping out the next day + closing down this one.

 

What do you get out of a nighttime routine? Your brain gets cued up that sleep is coming. That alters your brain chemistry, making it easier to fall asleep. Making your plan for the next day gives you the chance to reflect on the day, realign with your priorities, and head into the next day giving your focus to people instead of to tasks. And finally, you get the opportunity to purposely close out the day. Rather than suddenly realizing it’s 10pm and you haven’t set the coffee pot, cleaned up dinner, or read that book you’d intended to start, you can rhythmically move through your evening into the things that fill you up for another day.

 

Imagine it: going to bed full instead of feeling guilty, rushed, or scattered.

 

You guys, I’ve tasted and seen. It is so, so good to end the day feeling grateful + connected to what is most important to you.

 

ACTION STEP:

  • What’s your current night routine like? What do you like about it? What do you wish you were doing differently?
  • Start with the time you want to be in bed and work backwards, how will you spend your evening? What time do you need to close your computer or turn off the tv?
  • Give yourself 5-10 minutes to plot out your next day as you close down the kitchen or before you watch a show.
  • Pick 1 or 2 (short) things that you can do just before getting into bed that will help you transition your mind from activity to rest + align you with what is most important to you. Might be listening to music or a Bible app while you wash your face + get into pajamas. Maybe it’s journaling or writing a letter to a friend. Whatever it is, turn the lights low, be present, be grateful, and ease yourself into sleep.
  • Download Insight Timer (free) for sleep meditations if you have trouble falling asleep. I have a couple of favorites (Yoga Nidras) that I have yet to hear the end of, even when it still feels like my mind is buzzing as I get into bed. I also like to set the sleep timer on Pandora to soft instrumentals (ok so really they are epic soundtracks).

 

Wrap up (read: a reminder why any of this matters)

  • Introverts have a lower tolerance for stimulation.

  • Stimulation is any + all incoming information to the brain from sensory experience to internal dialogue to feelings to verbal + non-verbal cues from people.

  • In an overstimulated state you will struggle to make decisions, come up with creative solutions, regulate your behavior / emotions, maintain focus on the important stuff, perform necessary tasks effectively, etc.

  • All of these inhibit your ability to engage + connect with the people around you in the present moment.

  • Taking action to limit stimuli, discharge excess stimulation, streamline processes, and introduce systems + routines will increase your capacity for the people in your lives and keep you connected to your mission in the midst of all the noise.

 

If this sounds like something you need + want to do but you feel overwhelmed at the thought of doing it by yourself, this is what I do with clients. In the very near future I will be unveiling a “work with me” page for beta testers of my coaching program.

CLICK HERE NOW to get on the waiting list for beta testers to my coaching program.
Categories
Mindfulness and Cognitive Science Self Care

How to use your self-talk to bolster your relationships

Do you ever find yourself arriving to work and immediately feeling irritated by the first person you talk to or overwhelmed by the the first problem that comes up? Do you feel like these interactions are out of your control AND they end up setting the tone for your day?

 

When we start to open ourselves to the idea – to the dream – that life could be more fulfilling, that you could finally find a balance that allow you to do what you really want to do, it can be especially disheartening to encounter situations like this.

 

It’s my hope that today’s post will give you the tools you need to start to see change here.

If you ever find yourself upset at a coworker for unknown reasons beyond "he's annoying" then this post is for you. Learn the importance of your self-talk in building good relationships + how your brain has adapted to keep you safe and connected. Read more at alisanelson.co

 

 

Your work is deeply entangled in human relationships. Whether you work with a team or you spend your days guiding others, your ability to connect with people in a positive way can make or break your own sense of well-being.

 

The research I’ve done into human connection and performance has brought me to a surprising conclusion: you need to talk to yourself more.

 

But Alisa, I already talk to myself constantly! I feel like a crazy person!

 

I know! That’s what makes this step so easy. We talk to ourselves all. the. time. There’s a pretty large deviation between estimates of how many words we say to ourselves per day (I’ve seen estimates ranging from 12K to 50K) but suffice it to say it’s always happening. See, it’s not just you.

 

You cannot possibly account for every word you say to yourself. However, knowing that this is happening and steadily increasing your awareness of your default self-talk can increase your capability during interactions with other people throughout the day.

 

What kinds of things do we want to know about your self-talk?

  • What are the oft-repeated scripts you say/think about yourself?
  • What is your view of time?
  • How do you rate your priorities?
  • What’s your reaction to obstacles?
  • What stories do you tell yourself about your co-workers or the people you serve?

 

Our thoughts are capable of putting us into a stressed state – and that can end up cutting us off from the parts of our brain that help us accurately view + interpret the world around us. All throughout the day your brain is relying on pre-established habits. You’re on autopilot. And that includes what you say to yourself and the pictures your paint of people.

 

Without realizing it, you could be getting frustrated with a co-worker who is asking questions during a meeting because your brain is going off of the memory. Like when your talkative brother made you late for school. Your brain has trained your body to get anxious + feisty when something outside of your control takes more time than you were expecting.

 

The actual origin of the habit isn’t important. What IS important is recognizing the brain’s ability to induce stress by superimposing an alternate reality without our realizing it.

 

We live our lives through mental models.

Our survival-focused brain builds these models as we go through life to strengthen its cause-effect analysis and thus increase the likelihood of survival. In our modern world, our stress response tends to get initiated unnecessarily. Take the above example of being late for school. Our hunter-gatherer ancestors would have established habits of being in certain places on time because losing track of the tribe could mean death. Isolation was not a good thing. So the brain adapted a system in which it releases neurochemicals like serotonin and oxytocin to motivate us to behave appropriately and maintain our relationships. 

 

We establish these habits as children – like all mammals, we are pretty helpless on our own when we first start out. And humans take the longest to develop to full maturity (like 3 decades, people!).

My own kids regularly voice their fears of me forgetting them or leaving them behind when we are preparing to leave the house. That is their survival brain urging them to stay close to me because being alone equals vulnerability. That is their current mental model. I even have my own here – an anxiety about turning all the lights off when my husband isn’t home. I don’t want to be in the dark – or even go to sleep – when he is away. My brain has a notion that being by myself is unsafe.

 

Developing the capability to recognize these mental models allows us to modify them as time goes on and we have more information or greater skill. I would expect my children, right now at 2 + 4 years old, to have anxiety about going to bed without me home but as they get older I would try to help them start to process through their fears so they can actively modify their mental models. This intentional practice allows them to alter their brain’s reaction to being alone under certain circumstances. And to start to distinguish between the kind of “alone” that is safe versus an unnecessary vulnerability.

 

Getting in the habit of actively telling yourself stories can help you to do the same. You can begin to rewrite or expand your mental models of the world around you and thus avoid relationship-degrading behaviors. Like snapping at your husband for taking the last chicken nugget because you grew up with a big brother who always ate all the food. Just a hypothetical situation, of course.

 

Why will this help your relationships? Because the active building of your mental models will help you stay more present in your day, intaking data that is relevant to THIS moment rather than reacting based on data that was relevant last week – or 10 years ago. You are a different person with new understandings of the world and ever-expanding capability. Your models should grow with you.

 

Finally, this storytelling does another thing – it opens you up for empathy.

 

For example, when a person yawns, we are not simply mimicking their behavior when we yawn too. The stimulus travels through our mirror neurons down to the limbic + brain stem regions of the brain. We simulate emotionally + physiologically what that other person is feeling. We yawn. As the message travels back up to our prefrontal cortex, we are able to anticipate the needs of this other person and act accordingly. We know how they feel. We can relate. That is empathy.

 

If you’re lost in your own world of passive reactions, you miss the opportunity to connect with the people around you. Empathy meets the needs we all have to be known and to interact socially. You’re increasing your own sense of fulfillment simply because you’re tackling life alongside other people, cooperatively.

 

It’s time to take action. 

I want you to comment below with one of the areas of self-talk that you are going to start observing. Then, I want you to take out a piece of paper or open a doc on your computer and take some notes on what you already know about your self-talk. Or what situations you continue to see yourself overreact in or experience degrading relationships. What assumptions do you see yourself making?

Then, set an alarm on your phone for a few times throughout the day as a prompt to tune back into the stories you are telling yourself.

 

Categories
movement Nutrition and Meal Prep Self Care

How to get started on your own wellness journey

How do you become the person you want to be? How do you take that image of your life that’s buried deep in your mind – possibly feeling like a long lost dream – and start to bring it into reality? A key ingredient to any “transformation” story involves a moment when the person first began to believe they could become the person they wanted to be. Perhaps it was through a health scare, a personal intervention, or the encouragement of trusted voices – each story is unique but contains this turning point where the status quo becomes unacceptable. You love your work. But it’s burning you out. It’s time to find balance + connection to yourself and your mission on your very own wellness journey.

We all love transformation stories. But how do you inspire your own life change? Learn the first step to starting your own wellness journey. Growth happens when we learn to give our own bodies, hearts, and minds what they need. Read more at alisanelson.co

 

How can you encounter that moment for yourself?

Redefine “normal”

I want to tell you something: It starts with you. You looking at you. Your needs, desires, and where you are at in both right this minute. It’s tempting to look somewhere else – at your job, your kids, your relationships, your community – and try to arrange them *just so*. It’s harder to assess our own selves. Our behaviors, how we spend our time, the beliefs we hold that keep us from doing for ourselves what we really need to thrive and be truly effective in our work.

 

But I also see you setting too-low of expectations for yourself. Namely, for your level of well-being.

 

Sure, we joke about it all the time in our various spheres — that spread-too-thin feeling that comes just a little bit before the kids are in bed, or in the final weeks before Christmas break. I’ve come across plenty of memes and hilarious tweets giving accurate description to how our energy and passion ebbs and flows throughout the year. With the sad reality being a multitude of people living below their potential while they numb out on social media or Netflix because they can’t figure out how to nudge their lives into a sustainable rhythm of pouring out, taking in, and growth.

 

Don’t let these trends tell you what is normal.

 

Only having enough energy to make it to the closing bell or to the kids’ bedtime is surviving. We want more for ourselves.

 

Build a picture of where you are right now.

It’s difficult to go on a journey without a map. And maps require a starting point.

In our context we’re talking about a journey to better balance + connection in your life. We want to move beyond burn out into the habits and skills that allow you to continually expand your capacity for pouring out by paying special attention to replenishing your stores.

We often hear the word “self-care” thrown out around this time. I should know, I use it myself. But I tend to expand the word beyond taking physical care of your body. A massage or nightly face-mask sounds great but let’s dig deeper. Self-care is anything + everything you need to do to help yourself keep going on your mission. Maybe you can’t rattle off your very own mission statement but we’re talking about that thing you are investing yourself in. Might be your work, might be your kids — whatever it is, seeing your dream come to fruition requires a level of performance you won’t find by accident.

 

Self-care might look like:

  • The number of hours you sleep in any 24-hour period
  • The amount + style of physical movement you do each day
  • Calming techniques throughout the day that help you release anxiety + refocus your energy
  • The steps you take to keep yourself from getting distracted during the work day
  • The frequency + the way you spend time with loved ones
  • Your personal strategies for coping with disappointment, rejection, or unforeseen obstacles
  • How you prepare for the week / month / year ahead
  • What projects / roles you say yes to
  • The foods you eat throughout the day
  • Your morning + evening routines
  • The way you go about solving problems that pop up day-by-day
  • And more

 

In each area of your life you are taking stock of what will move you forward – increasing your own fulfillment as well as you efficacy. This information will help you start to see where your current journey is taking you. That clearer picture is what we need in order to draw a map from now —-> where you want to be. That is how you bring life to your wellness journey.

 

So, what’s the first step to starting a personal wellness journey?

We certainly can’t start to tackle every area of your life at once! You may have even tried that already. Research indicates that the best place to start when looking for change is to assess your starting point. Where are you now – what situations currently lead to a sense of fulfillment and what circumstances tend to leave you feeling lost, stuck, or confused? Then, you can start to zero in on these various circumstances and build the understanding + skills necessary to bring about the desired outcome.

Remember: We call this a journey because it takes a gradual one-step-in-front-of-the-other approach. The learning of new skills that develop into habits is its own beautiful science because it’s not a one-and-done kind of thing.

 

Your homework:

I’ll close our time together today with questions to get you started building your own self-awareness. The important thing is that you start to get curious about your current self – and that you be honest. You cannot grow if you aren’t willing to take a close look at the input / output of your life.

 

  1. What events or habits (that you currently have) leave you feeling refreshed + ready for action?
  2. What events or habits leave you feeling calm or content? What does the transition look like between these actions → getting back to work?
  3. What activities have you seen yourself grow in throughout the past few months? Where have you intended to grow but haven’t seen much progress?
  4. What behaviors do you tend to fall back on when you feel stressed? Sleeping more? Netflix? Eating out? Spending more time alone? Easily irritated?
  5. When you simulate the above behaviors and trace them backwards, what kinds of things tend to trigger them? Asking yourself what’s for dinner? Hearing your kids fight? Looking through Instagram? A difficult day at work?
  6. Write down a typical day in your life. You could even do this as the day progresses. How many times do you hit snooze, how often are you picking up your phone to check email/social media, how often are you experiencing those moments of awe + wonder that make our efforts feel worth it (and what situations does it tend to happen in), how do you feel prior to lunch / dinner, what’s your pre-bed routine, etc.
  7. What do you think about right before you fall asleep? What are your thoughts as you first wake up? What about at the end of the work day?
Categories
movement Nutrition and Meal Prep Self Care

A call to wellness: how you see yourself matters

What would it look like for you to value your wellness at the same level you value the people you work with? What if we challenged our typical view of always-trying-harder until we simply burn up?

We each contain within us a beautiful system of biological processes that enable us to do things like regenerate cells, find solutions to never-before-answered problems, and connect across space with other human beings. True wellness is the pursuit of living in this fully human experience. The better we get at understanding + supporting our own biology, the more we will be able to step up, engage, and connect with the world around us and our place in it.

 

You are more than a part to be consumed. Your personal wellness will become easier to pursue when you start to see yourself for who you are - biological processes and all. Here's why you need to stop seeing yourself as an organism. More at alisanelson.co

 

There’s a statement I read in an article that has been turning around in my head for so long that I can’t find the article again. It went something like this:

 

We keep trying to treat ourselves like we are machines when in fact we are organisms. We, as organisms, move circularly rather than linearly.

 

We hum along in a rhythmic pattern instead of a droll assembly line. This is why we see so much of ourselves and our lives in the natural world around us – because they too live in rhythm.

 

As I dig in the dirt planting bulbs in the cool October soil I’m drawn to thoughts of how temperature signals my own biological systems to change up the priority scheme. Did you know that the fall is the best time to plant shrubs? It’s the time of year when they will push their roots deep into the earth and focus their efforts on a sturdy foundation, while in the spring and summer they are more focused on reproduction.

 

Whether we are hardwired to think in terms of seasons or if it’s more an long-standing + ingrained cultural norm, I’m not sure yet, but the older I get the more frequently the women around me talk about seasons. Harkening our minds back to the wise King who tells us there is a season for everything (or perhaps a rebellious Kevin Bacon is more your style?).

 

When I’m digging in the dirt or watching my children eagerly wait for the falling leaves, I’m soothed by this reality of seasons. Like the turning tide, it comes because we need it to. Because there are different processes that need to take place for fullness of life. As sleep is necessary on a daily basis for the regeneration + cleansing of our cells so we move through important human moments on a larger time scale.

 

But when I’m talking to fellow moms or women immersed in their own versions of “busy season” it sounds (+feels) more like a prison than the melodic orchestration of a Creator. Like Calvin, who yells at the sky demanding for snow to fall, we ache for the next season to get here. Like now. Right now. Or we resign ourselves to the lie that this is going to be the rest of our lives.

 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to manifest out loud to my husband that I’m anxious my son is going to be 2 for the rest of his life. As silly as it sounds (especially to the non-moms out there), some days just get us to the point where we think we might actually have to tear out of our skin if we have to live one more day in this season. One more day of anxiety. One more day of too-loud children. One more day of all our efforts making zero difference. One more day of no time for ourselves.

 

So we pat ourselves on the back and try to see a silver lining – “It’s a season!” An exhausting season.

 

How do we get to the point where we can sense the melody? How do we return to ourselves as organisms with bodies flowing + grooving to the beat?

 

I think it’s circular. When we see ourselves as organisms, we feel like it too. We hear the music.

 

A machine can go for a time without a repair. Once it’s built it can thrum along doing its job – giving its attention to others. No need to pay attention to self until its parts are consumed. Then replace them and keep truckin’. It doesn’t matter to a machine if it is day or night, or whether it is running a single cycle or a hundred. It runs the same.

 

But we are not machines. And it is a mistake to believe that we can go seasons without regular maintenance. We can’t just plug ourselves into the wall and go, go, go. We have to circle back to restore our cells and our hearts daily – even more than just during our sleep!

 

We are more like a tree than a car.

A tree can produce fruit because it receives from the roots and leaves at varying degrees throughout its life cycle. It does not stop taking in carbon dioxide or water while it pushes out flowers. This is actually when it is the neediest.

 

We are designed to regenerate on a daily, monthly, and yearly basis. You cannot expect to continue on successfully throughout your career operating as a machine. In your neediest seasons – the ones when you’re swamped with projects or your kids are struggling or your team is trying to overcome an unforeseen obstacle – these are the times when you have to double check your soil is good and get that extra bit of water.

 

But more often we feel the drought and decide it must be that we’re meant to go the long haul on our own. We let our external cues dictate our rhythms instead of the God-given internal cadence.

 

You are not a part to be consumed and replaced.

Your work environment might lead you to believe you are. Your work load might lead you to believe you have to. But that is not the melody you were made for.

 

The path to wellness looks different in different seasons. We wouldn’t call a leafless tree in January “dead.” But does your fall + winter lead to pushing up new shoots in May and a bountiful harvest in August? Or does it leave you clawing for oxygen and ready to sleep when your leaves should be breaking free? Can you rejoice during the holiday season or is it spent in recovery + anxiety?

 

Around here we won’t pretend that everyone’s wellness should look the same. But we will talk about wellness and performance as if you’re an organism that lives in a particular kind of rhythm. And I think you’ll find that when we talk as humans, you’ll start to see + feel the beautiful melody that envelops you inside and out. And you’ll want to dance to the beat.

 

 

Categories
movement Nutrition and Meal Prep Self Care

15 super-easy self-care ideas for creative entrepreneurs

Self-care can happen easily within the everyday business life. What it takes is remembering you are human – and that you don’t exist inside a business-running bubble. One way to incorporate self-care into your normal day is to step into the natural rhythms of the world around you – like the changing seasons.

 

So it’s spring now. Pretty great, right? I mean, parts of the midwest got hit with 12 inches (!!!) of snow last week but my tulips have started popping out of the ground and there are robins everywhere. Perhaps where you are winter doesn’t feel like a real season but up here in Minnesota I’m typically feeling the need for a significant change up in our routines once playing outside without 10 extra pounds of gear is possible.

 

There are certain habits that become “normal” with long + cold winter nights. Delicious + heavy dinners, snuggling up on the couch to watch a few shows before bed, and working long hours – because it’s warm here in this chair and it’s too cold to drive to the gym. Am I right? Well, my gym is upstairs and there are plenty of days where even that feels too cold.

 

Whatever your winter habits are, changing seasons can be the prompt you need to switch it up and get inspired by a new environment + new routines. So this week I’m going to give you a nice long list of ideas for daily self-care.

 

We all know we need self-care but what actions with actually help you refuel + refocus? Here are 15 super-easy to implement ideas for the creative entrepreneur. More at http://alisanelson.co

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Before we jump in to the list let’s define a few things. “Self-care” has become a popular term and can therefore have a variety of definitions associated with it. The way I like to define self-care is the actions you take to prepare yourself to keep going. As a business owner, wife to a start up CEO, and a mom to two kiddos, stressed + tired is just a part of the job I signed up for. Personally, I think the adventure we are on is worth it. And research indicates stress is what we make of it. When people talk about self-care they are often looking for that elusive balance. Instead of balance though, let’s look at priorities. If you prioritize a refreshed + focused brain, your work, relationships, family life, and other hobbies will all benefit. Focus on the right things and the rest falls into place. Ultimately, you have to choose how to spend your energy + make time for the right things.
Related: 4 sign posts for building self-awareness into your day
Self-care is prioritizing a refreshed + focused brain.

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Self-care is what you do to help you operate at your best. It’s recognizing your humanity and setting the tone of the environment so you can be free to BE HUMAN. For me, I safeguard my sleep. In fact, the other night I actually told my work “goodnight” even though I was still getting bombarded with to-do’s. I know that to be my best for my kids, I can’t be running on anything less than 7 hours of sleep. So on the days I wake up early, I take naps to catch up. It’s one of the big things that make our current life choices sustainable.
Last week I wrote about the positive effects of a walk outside on your productivity. Similarly, this list today goes back to principles of how the human brain works and the positive outcomes associated with practicing mindfulness, quality nutrition, movement, and experiencing nature. Remember, self-care doesn’t have to happen on a designated day. It can easily be sprinkled in throughout your work day. And when you do that – when you take time to release your mind and rejuvenate – you will boost your creativity AND make it easier to focus on the task at hand.
When self-care is a part of your everyday, you are recognizing that you’re human.

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Ok, on to the list! (The ** indicate great options for the mompreneurs who are with their kids throughout the day. Getting yourself in the zone for short bursts of work is hard – use to rejuvenate while with your kids and use others to transition from mom-duty to work mode!)

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Spring-specific tips for self-care

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  1. **Keep a picnic blanket / towel in your car for a few minutes of sitting in the sun before / after an away-from-home workday or meeting.
  2. **Schedule a walk around the block – take note of the scenery changes as spring progresses
  3. **Read at the park instead of the couch
  4. Schedule active dates with girlfriends – drink your coffee while you go for a walk instead of sitting
  5. **Get to the farmer’s market — start getting to know some of the vendors – human connection win!
  6. **Buy a seedling of cherry tomatoes for a home grown snack through the summer
  7. **Plant some wildflower seeds
  8. Buy yourself some flowers weekly
  9. Drink your morning coffee outside on your steps listening / watching for the birds
  10. Open your office window and take a few minutes between tasks to focus on the fresh air and the sounds
  11. Use the natural rhythm of our agriculture to enjoy lighter, rejuvenating meals — spring time brings tons of salad greens, small radishes, snap peas, etc
  12. If you have a private area – like a deck or patio – try some yoga outside in the morning or on a work break.
  13. **Take some time during a spring rain to just watch the puddles form or listen to the pounding on the sidewalks
  14. Take a short nap (20-30 minutes) in the warm patch of sunlight streaming in on your couch — use that time to empty your mind, like a meditation. Even if you don’t fall asleep, you will feel refreshed. Be gentle with yourself – it takes practice to not just lie there ruminating on your growing list of tasks.
  15. **If you’re a pen + paper kind of planner, do it outside (bonus if it’s while the kids play by themselves!) — And remember to take some deep breaths + enjoy the world around you. It’ll help you get perspective while looking at the mountain you have planned for the day.
You will only ever have time for other things when you choose to make the time.

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BONUS!

 

Here are a few more ideas that require a little bit more time but could really help you enjoy the changing season. How often does it seem like a season just passed you by (especially the transitional seasons like spring + fall)? Schedule in ways to enjoy the beautiful weather before the heat + humidity makes every activity require a pool or a beach!

Go to the zoo!

Observing the animals (the primates are our current favorite around here) can be a way to force yourself into the present. Don’t feel like you have to spend a whole day on it even if you pay to get in. An hour or two of walking around or even sitting and watching can be a great extended break. Bring a cup of coffee and just let yourself be.

Go on a nature walk!

The trees change so fast from bare to fully leaved. Make an effort to see the buds + celebrate the changes. There are plenty of analogies between the reawakening of the trees + our own human growth cycle. Take time to observe it and express gratitude for the many ways you also sprout + grow after winter-like life seasons. Plus, spring wildflowers are the best.

Clear the clutter in your house!

There’s a reason spring cleaning is a thing. At the end of winter our homes (and therefore our minds + hearts) can feel heavy. Don’t just put your winter clothes back in the plastic bag for next year – use the switch out to remove the items you never wore, are now worn out, or realized didn’t give you that oomph you were going for. Make a list of the things you might keep an eye out for for next winter. You can do the same things with kid clothes + toys. As they transition to playing outside more, think about what toys they will have outgrown by fall and just get rid of them. Or put away some of the ones that will last to be like new again later.

Important note: this will be an overwhelming task if you try to do it all at once. You’ve got a business to run and other projects should accommodate! So make a list of rooms / closets / items and just add a little thing to your list each week or an even littler thing each day. Make your “donate” pile while you fold laundry, separate toys as you clean up at night. When you’re growing a business, the rest of life should be simple. It’s the only way balance will happen.

Categories
movement Self Care

How to boost your productivity this spring

Productivity is a little particular. With all the pretty instagram pictures of work spaces, we seem to have a general idea that our environment matters — that it impacts our mood, focus, and therefore, the quality of our work. But did you know that nature can also have a profound effect on our work quality? Since it is the first week of spring (and Minnesota actually seems to be joining in the spring party despite a forecast for snow), I’ve compiled a list of some of the reasons that you should spend more time outside – even when there is work to do. In fact, especially because there is work to do. If you want to boost your productivity, you gotta be willing to step away from the desk.
You might think that in order to be more productive you must spend more hours at your desk but in reality there's a better way. Read on for a natural, everyday method for boosting your productivity. More at: http://alisanelson.co
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Ready? Here we go. We’re going to run a simulation. Let’s pretend you’re going for a walk outside. Here are 4 things you can expect to experience:

 

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Presence of mind

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This may take a conscious effort at first but when you release your mind from planning or worrying about the future, you open up your mind to the stimuli your 5 senses are experiencing. Whether it’s listening to the birds, smelling the fresh blooms, or looking at the trees bud new leaves, your attention on the concrete world around you has an impact on your nervous system. Your body relaxes. A practice in mindfulness is said to reduce anxiety and depression as well as increase your ability to focus and fire up your creativity.
Related:
5 benefits of self-awareness 
4 sign posts for building self awareness into your day 
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Movement

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You might not think of walking as exercise but it certainly is – especially when compared to sitting at your desk. Research indicates a two-fold effect of exercise on the brain. First, in the regulation of growth factors. Down the cascade this impacts your brain’s ability to strengthen + form new neural connections in the brain. (Research has been done on the effects of exercise in seniors on the development of dementia + Alzheimer’s). For the creative entrepreneur, your brain on exercise will be able to make faster connections between your experiences and lead to greater creativity + innovation. The second effect on the brain is in the reduced risk of diseases that cause degeneration in the brain in the long-term. In addition, when you combine exercise with being outside, research indicates a positive effect on depression.

Related:
When self-awareness brings hard emotions
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Deep breathing

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Do you breathe while you check email? In recent years a term was coined by Linda Stone, “email apnea.” After observing it in herself and many others, she set out to bring awareness to the effects of shallow breathing, hyperventilating, and holding our breath while we work. Ultimately, it increases the stress we experience. The way we are breathing can trigger our sympathetic nervous system, which controls our fight-or-flight response. Taking a walk outside where you are breathing in the fresh air is an opportunity to relax your nervous system and remind your body that you are not in danger.

Say it with me: I hereby pledge to breathe while I read my email.

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Connection with the vibrant world around you

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There are effects of being outside that science can’t completely account for. It lowers our stress levels and we aren’t really aware of why, exactly. One possibility is that beyond what I’ve listed above, the scent of flowers such as lilacs and roses as well as fresh pine can all have an relaxing effect on our nervous systems. So you should literally stop and smell the roses, ok?

 

Entrepreneurship can take a toll on the body. Sleep deprivation, chronic stress, more likely to eat poorly and not drink enough water are just a few things that tend to be common practice amongst business owners. A daily walk is something that can have a serious impact on saving your body + your brain for the rest of your life. As little as a walk around the block with attention paid to your breath + the world around you can increase your focus, decrease depression + anxiety, boost your brain for stronger + faster connections, decrease your stress levels, and boost your creativity.

 

It’s a habit that, though small, can increase your enjoyment of these hustling days and remind you of why you do what you do as you take in the real, live world around you. Your creativity is vital, no matter what kind of business you run. But the compounding stress of handling a business can dramatically reduce new ideas. This is why it is so important for you to think about yourself as you plan out your day-to-day life. So go take a walk.
Boost your productivity + enjoy the hustle — go take a walk

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Sources:
Presence of mind:
Google talk by Dr. Ron Siegel
The Effect of Mindfulness-based therapy on anxiety and depression…
Movement:
Exercise builds brain health…
Vitamin D and Depression…
Deep breathing:
Just Breathe: Building a case for Email Apnea
Connecting to the vibrant world
Here’s proof going outside makes you healthier